That’s what I felt to today while at developmental play group.
Every week Obi and I participate in a play group that integrates typical kids with those who are experiencing developmental delays. Some are preemies who are just a little behind. Others, like Obi have a diagnosis. And the rest are just typical kids who come to take advantage of the program which includes free play, social snack time, gym time and music all in one fab morning a week.
The group takes place in a specially designed room for the 0-2 set in a building that houses an integrated preschool. It also caters to both typical kids and those with physical disabilities and/or developmental disabilities.
I think of this place as a ‘safe’ zone – where Obi is just one of the gang.
Today, there were 2 incidents that ticked me off.
The first was during snack time when a mom, who was having trouble opening a sippy cup, said “I’m so handicapped sometimes.” REALLY? Who says that? And who says that HERE? Geez, bad choice of words. Bad company to use them in. Just bad.
Then, not 45 min later, another Mom, in the room with just me and the mom who earlier made the remark above, used the R-Word. Yep. In the one place that accepts kids with all levels of ability. In front of one of the Moms known to have a baby with a diagnosis (ME) that would fall under the umbrella of that word back in the day.
I couldn’t let that one go. I said “I’m sorry, you just can’t use that word anymore. It’s not acceptable.”
She sort of looked at me like I was the word police and the other mom asked “what word? Did she say something bad?”
“Yes.” I said. “Retarded.” (I kind of threw up a bit in my mouth as I said it outloud) “It’s not an appropriate word to use, especially around people like my daughter”.
Well, she launched into an apology that might as well have come with a shovel to help her dig herself further into the hole she was creating as she spoke.
There was “I know I have to stop saying it.” “I just can’t help myself.” And, “When I say it at home I have to tell my son it’s a bad word and he shouldn’t use it.”
OK – I get that it’s been a part of the vernacular for quite some time and habits are hard to break. But to use that word enough that you need to warn your child not to repeat it just isn’t cool. NOT COOL Mama.
Especially not cool in that place. ESPECIALLY. What if some of the preschool kids in the next room heard you? What if a parent of a child with a developmental delay heard you?
Oh wait. They did. I DID.
And now I really don’t like you.
I’m pretty johnny-come-lately on the mission to take the R-word out of conversation but there is a whole movement.
In case you’d like to read more about what people are doing and why you too should never, ever use the R-word again, visit Spread the word to end the Word.
And, if you do feel compelled to drop the R-word, be sure not to do so at a babygroup/school for kids with developmental disabilities. Or in front of me.