I posted earlier this week about an incident that happened while Obi and I were out in the world. If you missed the post, you can read it here. I had interesting responses but the one that has stuck with me the most was a facebook comment saying “he should be fired”.
There was a time when I would have agreed that he should be. But these days I know getting him let go wouldn’t help him in the long run. He’d probably storm home or out with his friends and say that the mom of some “enterdisparagingremarkhere” kid got me canned for like, no good reason, saying I was, like, talking bad about her twerp or something.
He’d maybe get mad and maybe become a little pissed about ‘those people’ or something. He might spend his whole life being a jackass.
I don’t want to see him be fired. I want to see him be better. To learn that the things you say and the way you act means something. They say something about the kind of person you are. And, how you react when someone lets you know what your doing and saying is hurtful? That says a lot about who you want to be.
I’ve found that since Obi’s diagnosis, a number of people have chosen to be better. I know I have. Stickin’ up for people and things that matter to me. Trying to let go of things that don’t really count in the long run. Finding joy in small things. I’ve seen it in other too. People who let me talk their ear off about nothing just ’cause they know I can use a friendly ear right now. People who take a little extra time to ask about Obi and how things are going. People who have banished ‘the R word’ from their vocabulary and their presence.
I’ve met doctors, therapists and program directors who really seem to care about Little Miss, even through they’ve just met. They could just get the job done but they go further.
The listeners and the askers and the language police, they’ve all gotten a little better because of a 28 chromosome deletion.
It’s really quite amazing. Even the heartbreak over the diagnosis I think, in the end, will make me a little better. too.
And jackass. Big mouth jackass. You have a lot of room for improvement. Don’t be mad or resentful or angry or withdrawn. Be more aware of your surroundings. Be mindful of your words. Be a champion for where you work or find new work.
Be a better employee, a better door-opener-for-the-woman-with-the-stroller. Be a better human.